The Truth is Always Hidden Inside the Lies
by Tacy Stillman1
Summary: Hermione Granger is nothing like she seems, here is the truth, her thoughts, and how she overcame it all to fall in love.
1. Meet the real me

The Truth is Always Hidden Inside the Lies  
  
Authors note- This is an idea I got for no real reason, and I doubt any one will lie it but here we go. I will appreciate any review given to me, flames or not. please do   
enjoy- Bri  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter  
  
  
I have always been a bit out of touch with reality. When I was little I would talk to my reflection. I had a million imaginary friends and my shadow was my   
closest. I confided all my thoughts into the air in hope that maybe an angel would hear and come to help me, but I have long given up that hope. My parents died when   
I was three, and I grew up on the streets under the care of my older brother. He was so strong and I admired him so, but he died the day I turned eleven, and was   
accepted into Howarts School of Witchcraft and Wisardry.   
It is a bit shameful for me to admit that I paid for my supplies with stolen money, but it wasnt much I stole, and it was from someone who it probably didnt  
matter to. Once I got there I, of course, lied to everyone. I told them that my parents were rich dentists who took me eveywhere during the holidays. No one ever   
doubted what I said, and I remained dignified. Once I got to the school I taught myself everything I could. Not only was I muggleborn, but I had no money of my own  
and so I strived to prove myself to people who couldnt care less. I suppose it was my know-it-all attitude that made everyone hate me. I realized a bit to late that in  
all the hurry of trying to prove myself to everyone else, I was making them feel stupid.  
I will admit I was a bit suprised when Harry and Ron befriended me. It was just earlier that day they were complaining about how annoying I was but they   
didnt know me,and they still don't. Even now, at our seventh year, they still belive all my lies about my family, still belive I am perfect, innocent, Hermione. I wonder   
how they would react to the news that I paid for my dressrobes by sleeping with a few guys. Innocent my ass. So here I am, boarding the Hogwarts express for my   
last year. Head girl, top student, and closet prostitute. What a year this should be.  
  
"It does not do well to dwell on dreams, and forget to live"  
- Albus Dumbledore  
  
The Truth is Always Hidden Inside the Lies  
Chapter One  
Welcome to Hell  
  
"Hermione!" A voice behind me yells and I turn planting my most real looking smile on my face. Harry Potter comes up to me and envelopes me in a tight   
hug. Of course he doesnt notice that my smile is fake, no one ever does. A voice in the back of my head screams that my name is NOT Hermione, but I changed it to   
this before I came here, it wouldnt do to have anyone know who I really am. My parents were rather famous in the muggle world, geniuses, sad as it was that we had   
to run when they died, because someone was out to kill them, but enough dwelling on the past, Ron is coming.  
" How have you two been?" I listin carfully to my voice. Years of pretending makes it rather easy to act happy, and I am proud to say I have everyone   
fooled. Ron and Harry begin to babble on about such and such that I don't pay attention to. They can certainly be boring sometimes, but I suppose I do not give them  
a chance. It doesn't matter anyway, I dont feel like being nice today anyway, so I ignore them the entire trip. They do not notice anyway. It is immposible sometimes  
to understand why they are my best friends, why they evn talk to me at all. I know I am anoying, and I am sure they've noticed my mood swings from hell that I   
consintally have. Is it because they feel sorry for me? Is it because I am just a running joke they have? Look it that geek Hermione, she actually thinks we like her, what  
and idiot. I shake my head to clear that thought, I am so paranoid.   
The scenery outside the train is sadly familiar to me. I know every detail of the feilds and towns we pass, as I have nothing better to do while on this train.  
Harry and Ron are going on about Quidditch again, the gits. Can't they find something remotly intelligent to talk about? I suppose not, as they still cant think for   
themselves. I dont know how long I sat there, musing on everthing and anything, before I came upon an amusing thought. In first year I remeber saying such as being  
expelled would be worse than being killed, and how they must have misinterpreted that. I meant it because if I were expelled I would have no where to go at all, for  
even longer than just the holidays. They must have supposed that I would just die if I lost my chance to be better than eveyone. Another thought occured to me, Harry   
was increasingly sure that our oh-so graet headmast knew everything, and yet he has done nothing to try and help me. Not that I would accept it anyway. I am much to  
dignified for that, even if I will resort to sleeping with someone to pay for my school supplies. That doesnt matter now, as soon I will graduated and be able to get a   
paying job that will make me rich. And I will live in a house, with a husband and children with a white picket fence. How cliche my dreams are. And how unreal.  
I will probably be kicked out of school two weeks before graduation when everyone finds out who I am, and end up some two-cent whore lying dead on   
a street corner two years later. Did I mention i was manic depressive as well? I guess not. The train is beginning to slow down and the boys quickly leave the   
compartment so I can change. Not that it matters if they were there, I been seen by worse. But I shouldnt be thinking of things like that, while I am here I am innocent  
little Granger. I leave the compartment so the boys can change and stand in the hall silently. A million conversations leak out and I snort mirthlessly, if anyone were to  
speak of something privet here, it would be sure not to remain so.   
Once we get off the train I feel rather impatient. I havnt slept in a real bed all summer nor have I had a real meal and I am starving. It's rather funny that I   
have a rather large sum of money with me this year, and all of it 'earned'. My christmas presents I send to myself every year from my 'parents' should be rather   
extravegant. We board one of the carrages. I am so tired of this live, maybe I should go to the Astronamy tower tonight and end it all. With that thought, I enter the   
Great Hall.  
She's taking her time making up the reasons   
To justify all the hurt inside   
Guess she knows from the smiles   
and the look in their eyes   
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one   
They're saying, "Mamma never loved her much"   
And, "Daddy never keeps in touch   
That's why she shies away from   
human affection"   
But somewhere in a private place   
She packs her bags for outer space   
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come   
And she'll say to him  
-Savage Garden, To the Moon and Back 


	2. More musings

i would swallow my pride   
i would choke on the rhines  
but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside  
i would swallow my doubt turn it inside out   
find nothing but faith in nothing  
want to put my tender heart in a blender   
watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion   
rendezvous and im through with you   
Inside out, Eve 6  
  
The Truth is Always Hidden Inside the Lies  
Chapter 2  
Ignorance is Bliss  
  
The sorting was a rather boring affair, as it always has been. Gryffindor was awarded seven new members, and that was more than any other house. I am   
sure a rather substantial number of mothers will be breathing well tonight for that. Dinner is as extravegant as always, though i hardly notice as I am so hungry. And to  
think that I got so huphy about eating when I started S.P.E.W. I was such a child then. I slow in my eating for a moment so as not to get sick and surbey my peers.   
Two of the new first years, both girls, have weasled thier way close enough to Harry to talk to him, and it is rather funny to think I too had been as exited as that when   
I met him. Again I was such a child in those days. Nothing much has changed since then in the way of any of our looks, I think. My hair is as bushy as always, Harry's  
as messy, and Ron's as red. He reminds me of a story I once read about a chinese emperor called Running Weasel. He was rumered to be an exellent strategist.   
Ginny is sitting on the other side of Harry as the two first years, glaring shamelessly at them. Ever since the two started going ot, she has been extremly jealous of   
everyone, including me. I suppose thats only natural though.  
Once dinner is over I am forced to direct the Gryffindors to the commons area. I give the Fat Lady portrait the password, Truth, and enter. Almost   
immediatly I bolt for my dormatory, as I am exeedingly tired. My mind revets once again tot he ill formed suicide plan I had been thinking about but I dismiss it. I   
havn'tbrought myself this far for nothing. Crookshanks is lying on my bed waiting for me. I find it rather humerous that the poor thing likes me so much, but I don't   
protest,lest I scare him away. I lay in bed and sit up for hours, as I usually do. Its rather funny that I am tired all day and yet I can never fall asleep at night. Its like a   
cruel joke played on me by the fates. A quote I once heard comes to mind. 'If all the worlds a stage, then the director must be a sadist.' I agree wholeheartedly. I have   
always wondered what it would be like to be God. To make everyone do what I want them to. Of course then I have to wonder why we have free will. Unless free   
will is just an imaginary thing. If we are really just peices of a really big chess set in a match between Gad and Satan. My head hurts from thinking too much. Its about  
five before I finnaly fall asleep, and it seems like two seconds later I have to get up. After spending an excruciating thirty minutes trying to make myself look less like an   
electrocuted chipmunk I give up. It no use, im not even remotely pretty anyway. The imaginary mother in my head disagrees. Whatever.  
I do not go to breakfast, rather I head straight to the library to check out the million and one books I plan to read this week. It always been rather   
annoying that there are no muggle literature books in here, but I suppose some Slytherin would probably burn them or something. Once I get inside I make a beeline   
for the third shelf to the right and pull out my favorite book, a wisarding book of poetry. I have always loved poetry, and this book has the most immaginative I have  
ever read. By the time I check it and many others out, it is time for my first class, Potions.  
Potions was as it normally is. Snape was a basterd, Neville blew up his potion, and I did it perfectly. Of course thought the class Gryffindor lost 25 points.  
'Five points for looking smug, Ms. Granger.' 'Ten points for stupidity, Mr. Longbottom' 'Ten points for being irritating, Mr Potter.' What a bugger. And then the worst   
thing possibe happened. I gues I was a bit fed up with everything and just lost control, but when the overgrown bat passed me I 'accidently' dumped a bit of Nevills   
spoiled potion on him. The next thing I know, I have a months worth of detention and my teacher is covered in pink polka dots. The only thing that would be funnier,  
I suppose, is Neville's grandmother's dress and hat on him. I guess it was well worth it. Oh look, ive just been kicked out of class, well bugger to you too.  
I spent the rest of the class period working on other homework. I suppose it helps that now I can work on more important things. I just hope this doesnt   
take away my position as Head Girl.  
  
sorry this was so short, I promise the next one will be longer. I would also like to mention, that although I do not mind flames, please give a reason as to why you   
didnt like my story. it rather annoying to have someone tell you 'this story sux (cant even spell right), delete it right now and write something good!) Well what sucks   
about it? Did it offend you? Was it badly written? Was it completly improbable? Well that enough ranting, please Read and Reveiw. 


	3. Finaly something interesting!

AN-This chapter I am putting in third person so as to move it along a bit and give more perspective as to what others are thinking.  
  
May it be an evening star  
Shines down upon you  
May it be when darkness falls  
Your heart will be true  
You walk a lonely road  
Oh! How far you are from home  
  
May It Be, Enya  
  
The Truth is Always Hidden Inside the Lies  
Chapter Three  
Flashback  
  
A small girl of perhaps three ran smiling through the large crowd. Her large brown hair was a tangled mess and her cheeks were smudged but she   
looked absolutly adorable. She turned and ushered her parents to go faster. They had finnaly agreed to take her to the zoo for her birthday and she was overly exited.  
The girls parents hardly ever took her anywhere as they were the best scientists England had to offer. It was horribly dangerous for them to be out now but they could   
never turn down their daughter's adorable face.  
"Mummy, come on!!" Her voice was high and her mother smiled at her. The woman's face was thin and pale, and she had a shock of bright red hair cut  
close to her head. Her brown eyes sparkled happily as she observed her daughter.  
" Cerce, dear, we have all day!" The girl's father laughed. Professor Troy was a rather large man with many laughlines, Cerce often said he looked just like  
Santa Clause. They finnaly reached the gates just as two gunshots went off. Circe gasped as a hard body rammed into her and threw her away from the crowd. Strong  
hands took hold of her and she was pulled away from the scene, just as she caught sight of her beloved mother lying on the ground covered in blood. The man who   
was carrying her looked sadly down at the child as she lost conciousness(sp?) He shook his head and delivered her home.  
  
  
Hermione Granger woke with a start. She had always tried so hard not to remember her past, so much pain. It hurt to think of anything that had to do with  
that time, sher had nearly left her muggle studies class when they started studying the Odyssey. Her real name then had been Circe Troy. She found it rather sad that   
that was her name, as Circe was said to be more beautiful than Aphrodite, and she certainly was not that, so she took her last name and connected it with Helen of   
Troy, and gave herself the name of Helen's daughter, as Hermione's mother had been etherealy beautiful to her.  
The sky outside the window showed that the sun was beginning to rise. So Hermione did as it suggested and got up. She was more of a morning person   
than anything else. This was the only time she had to herself; this was the only time she could be herself, as no one else in thier right mind would get up this early.   
'Just goes to show you how twisted I am' Hermione thought bitterly as she slipped into the Head bath. All she could think off at the moment was who the  
mant that saved her life was. She never saw his face, but she had felt safe near him, and that unnerved her. She stepped from the bath and dressed slowly. A soft  
voice in the back of her head reminds her of her lapse of sanity the day before. She had to admit, it felt good to give the man what was coming to him, but it sucked   
to be punished for it. She slipped back into her privet room, ahh the perks of being Head girl. Another, much more perverted, voice decided to speak up to that   
title and Hermione made a soft grunting noise warning it to shut up before she kicked its figmented little butt.  
She soon became restless and decided to take a little stroll, which was allowed after six. It was 6:02. The halls were, while not exactly chilly, a delicious   
soft of cool that made you feel refreshed and not cold. This was the best time to be in the castle, no one to bother you, and perfect atmosphere. Hermione decided   
it made her feel as a ghost would. That thought brought her happiness. She began to hum a song she had heard over the summer, as she passed some record store or  
something. It soon transformed into singing as the words came to her.  
  
When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned it's back on you  
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart  
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you  
It's hard to find relieve and people can be so cold  
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore  
She began to dance, spinning around and forgetting the world. It was so exhilarating. She didnt notice the figure watching her. As she began to spin faster and faster.  
Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone  
  
When you feel all alone  
And a loyal friend is hard to find  
You're caught in a one way street  
With the monsters in your head  
When hopes and dreams are far away and  
You feel like ...........  
Hermione's eyes snapped open as she bumped into a hard surface she knew had not been there before. With a gulp she raised her eyes from the floor. Black boots,  
black robes, and... She gave a sharp gasp at the man before her. Oh no! Who could be worse to run into like this. She blushed crimson as he began to speak.  
  
  
Okay, I know I said this chapter would be longer, but i am having a hard time deciding who she should be with. Draco Malfoy or Severous Snape. If you do not like  
either of these couples, I am open to other suggestions, but please do not yell about how messed up I must be. If you do not approve, dont read, there is far worse   
out there.-Bri 


	4. note

Like I said in chapter three, I need to know who you all think Hermione will get with.   
  
  
Snape, or Draco.  
  
  
I am open to other suggestions but It will almost definatly be one of the other two. 


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